Full Moon
by zeza101
Summary: song fic. Edward's thoughts wile he's gone in New Moon. one-shot


**A/N: yea so this is my first song fic, it's based on the lyrics to the song "Full Moon" by: The Black Ghosts**

Full Moon (a song fic)

"_when the thorn bush turns white that's when I'll come home"_

I had to leave, I was endangering her existence. I was the thorn bush in the beautiful garden of her life. I couldn't hurt her anymore. Every time we got closer something bad would happen to her, another thorn would stab her. I didn't want to ruin her life, so I left.

_  
"I am going out to see what I can sow"_

I need a distraction, something to keep my mind off her, my angel, my savior. Maybe I could try to hunt down Victoria, that would be a useful distraction. That horrible creature didn't deserve to live.

_  
"And I don't know where I'll go"_

I'm not sure where to start my search. She could be anywhere now. Arg! This is so frustrating! But I had to try, I had to make my angel safe.

_  
"And I don't know what I'll see"_

She could be hiding in the deepest, darkest corners of the world, in places no one would dare to go. But it didn't matter, as long as it was somewhere away from Forks, away from Bella.

_  
"But I'll try not to bring it back home with me"_

I can't go back, I can't hurt my love by bringing with me the dangers of the immortal world. I can't risk her safety, no matter how selfish I am. So I must stay away, I had to make her safe

"Like the morning sun your eyes will follow me"

My family is worried about me, they want to know where I am, they want me to come home. But everything there reminds me of my Bella.

_  
"As you watch me wander, curse the powers that be"_

I hated that I was a vampire. Why couldn't I just be human? Why do I have to be a monster that threatens their own love's existence? I wanted to curse whoever thought of this sick joke. Human and vampire aren't meant to be together.

_  
"Cause all I want is here and now but its already been and gone"_

All I want is to be safe for Bella, I want her to live a long happy life. I had hoped to be included in her life, but that had proved too dangerous.

_  
"Our intentions always last that bit too long"_

I had planned to back out if things got too bad, but I was selfish, I didn't pay attention to the warning signs. I stayed for too long, and my sweet Bella got hurt because of me.

"Far far away,"

I don't know where I am, but I am far away from Forks. Where I can't hurt my love anymore.

"_no voices sounding," _

Silence everywhere. It's like the world had stopped and left me in the dark.

"_no one around me "_

I am completely alone. There is no one for miles. I am free from other's thoughts… but not my own.

"_and you're still there"_

I can't block out the thoughts of her, I can hear her voice, see her face. She smiles, beconing me back to her.

"_Far far away, "_

I ran trying to get away from the tormenting thoughts. I'm not sure how long I ran, but I am far away, away from where I want to be.

"_no choices passing,"_

There is nothing to do, no choices to make, no plans to go through. I wallow in the misery that surrounds me.

"_no time confounds me "_

I have no sense of time. I could have sat there for hours, or even days, I wasn't sure, but every passing second seemed to go slower and slower, taunting me.

"_and you're still there"_

And yet, even with all the emptiness around me, thoughts of her still consumed my mind. Her face, her smell, her touch, all the memories torturing me.

"In the full moons light I listen to the stream"

I sit by a cool mountain stream, the moon basking the area in it's eerie light. My reflection is not one I know, I look terrible, broken, burning

_  
"And in between the silence hear you calling me"_

The silence is unbearable, it gives me too much room to think. I hear her in my mind, I see her face. She is calling for me, calling me back to where I belong.

_  
"But I don't know where I am and I don't trust who I've been"_

I don't know where I am, and I'm not sure how to get back. But if I did go, could I trust myself not to cause her more pain? …no I couldn't.

_  
"And If I come home how will I ever leave"_

Maybe I could just go to watch, I wouldn't let her know I was there, I'd just go to see how she was, then I would leave again. But the real question was that if I went back, could I find the strength to leave? …No. So I had to stay away.

**A/N: BTW this is the first FanFiction i have ever compleated! Yay!!! I also have another fic i'm working on called "Brother James" so if you have time please go over and check it out!**

** alright so please review and tell me how it was :)**


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